This will be a post-modern blog, and I have no idea what post-modern means

I like trying to look smart.
I don't think I'm alone here. An unscientific survey recently revealed that 73% of people talk mostly out of their asses. We've become more and more convinced that it's better to appear to be something than to actually BE that thing. Want an example? Look at Ken Jennings. Mr. Jennings had a moment in the sun (or if we want to be anal, 22 moments in the sun once a week for about 70 weeks). He was famous for having dominated Jeapardy! like Alexander the Great dominated the assholes of ancient Greek boys. (Note: I had to wikipedia Alexander the Great to find out whether he was gay or not. What'd I say about appearing smart without actually knowing anything?)
Anyhoo.
Ken Jennings gave the impression of being a fucking genius. By the end, poor old Trebec was just exasperated with him: you know that little mid-show interview they do with the contestants where they say something interesting about themselves? What the hell do you ask a guy when it's his 70th time doing this little song and dance? So, any nice bowel movements lately? It gets pretty difficult to make small talk.
So Kenny was obviously smart. Or was he? Because with all the facts shoved into his mellon, what the hell had he done to make a name for himself? If Jeapardy had never been made, what would his command of arcane trivia have done for him, other than made him a hit at parties? (Note: one thing I do remember was that Ken was a mormon, yet always killed at the category 'potent potables' which deals solely with alchoholic beverages. I can only imagine the Church of Latter Day Saints' parties this guy went to, where instead of getting fucked up and dancing with lamp shade on his head, he talked about all the drinks he couldn't actually consume with other teetotalers. Of course this guy was the life of the party, his biggest competition was Donny Osmond. This is kind of a roundabout way to say, Fuck You, Donny Osmond).
So Ken, although looking brighter than anybody you or I could ever conceive of, wasn't smart. He knew a lot of shit, but it was all totally useless. He didn't have a command of anything important, he couldn't alter the world in the way pure geniuses do. And we hold him up as somebody to be emulated.
Being smart is HARD. It's more than being good at something, it's about knowing HOW to be good at something. We'd much rather just have everybody fellate us mentally (that actually sounds fun), for looking like we have this know-how, than to go out an acquire it.




I'll take 'This blog post wasn't very good' for $200, Alec. Hopefully it gets better from here.